YOU CAN TELL JUST LOOKING AT SOME ONE

You Can Tell How Much They Can Drink by Their Eye Color

GettyGetty

There comes a time in every man's life when it will be necessary to drink another guy under the table. Maybe you're trying to win a bet, or prove your manliness, or maybe you're in a terrible rom-com and the only thing that stands between you and the woman you love is the varsity liquor drinking team that challenged you to a duel. We don't know ... we don't write the rules.

Getty
We merely follow them to their inevitable, disastrous conclusion.

So naturally you'll pick out some blond-haired, blue-eyed pretty boy who looks like two Bud Lights would have him over a toilet. An hour later, you are praying for death. And to think this all could have been avoided if you had known how to pick out a lightweight drinker.

How? Tell Me!

Picking the blue-eyed guy was a bad move. It turns out, eye color is an amazing indicator of how much alcohol a person can drink before it affects them.

Getty

A study of thousands of white men (all of them prisoners) found that for some reason, those with light eye colors like blue, green, gray or hazel, can handle more alcohol than men with dark eyes. And a totally different study of almost 2,000 women found that the same held true for them.

Even more interesting is the fact that this result was predicted before the study. Because apparently brown-eyed folks are more sensitive to medication and other stimuli, and that sensitivity is what prompts them to stop when they've had enough. Blue-eyed people, on the other hand, require more alcohol to get buzzed, so they develop a greater tolerance for the stuff. And according to the study, the blue-eyed people are also more likely to be alcohol abusers.

As for what eye color has to do with alcohol tolerance, scientists are still on the fence. One theory is that the amount of melanin in the eyes is directly related to the amount of melanin insulating neurons in the central nervous system, and that more melanin somehow translates to quicker nerve transmissions. In any case, you might want to think again before challenging someone with baby blues to a drinking contest.

Is She Interested In You? Look at Her Feet.

Getty

Remember back in high school when you were talking to that cute girl you really liked, but you couldn't tell if she liked you back, and your fear of rejection prevented you from expressing your feelings in any way apart from night after night of tearful masturbation? Remember when you did the same thing last week? Wouldn't asking someone out be so much easier if you knew how they'd answer before you asked them?

Science to the rescue!

How? Tell Me!

Experts will tell you it's all in the body language, but you know better. People -- and especially women -- are really, really good at feigning disinterest. Anything short of the woman outright grabbing your junk will be lost on most guys.

Getty
"I realized she was into me right around the time we started having sex."

But watch her feet.

Apparently, people aren't as conscious of their foot movements as they are of other parts of their body, and so their feet can unconsciously send messages about themselves. They did a study at the University of Manchester on this, studying subjects' foot movements in various social situations.

Getty
The angle of her heels says "I put out," but those knees say "not for you."

Specifically, they found if a woman moves her feet apart to adopt a more open-legged stance, it generally means that she's into you. However, if she finds you utterly repulsive, she will likely cross her legs or keep them tucked underneath her body. We'll, uh, let you figure out the symbolic meaning of those gestures.

And while we're on the subject ...

#5.

You Can Tell if a Woman Has Had an Orgasm by How She Walks

Getty

Of course, all of our male readers are already virtual experts on the subject of female sexuality. But for the rare, sheltered fan who isn't, we need to explain something about the female orgasm. When it comes to climaxing, ladies can do it two ways: from the inside or from the outside. The inside orgasm comes from the G-spot, and is super easy to achieve if her partner's penis is shaped like a letter "J." Most women, however, climax from the outside, or clitoral stimulation.

Getty
Some women require more ... elaborate measures to achieve orgasm.

If for some reason you are curious to know whether, say, the lady who delivers your mail has regular vaginal orgasms, there's an easy way to tell.

How? Tell Me!

By the way she walks. Not joking.

Getty
Rascal-bound women remain as damnably incomprehensible as ever.

A group of sexologists (which is apparently a thing) from the Universite Catholique de Louvain in Belgium studied the connection between the way a woman walks and her vaginal orgasm history. What else did you think sexologists studied?

They gathered a group of women -- half had never had vaginal orgasms, half had. And then, we shit you not, the scientists had to guess which group each lady fell into by the way she sashayed her stuff across the room.

Getty
"I don't know about you Dr. Stodgson, but I suddenly feel like this might be the most important study we've ever conducted."

And here was the kicker: It worked. The sexologists could determine whether or not the woman in question could have a vaginal orgasm with freaking 81.25 percent accuracy.

Now, we caution you against trying this if you're not a trained sexologist yourself -- we're not responsible for any injuries or incorrect conclusions drawn. But the experts say women who were climaxing from the inside had longer stride lengths, greater pelvic rotation and an "absence of both flaccid and locked muscles." In other words, they had a little shake in their hips, a little pep in their stride and didn't look like they were clenching a tennis ball with their thigh muscles. A loose but confident walk. Now you know, and you'll never, never un-know.

We're so sorry.....;-)

You Can Tell Their Political Views by Their Eyes

Granted, most of the time you know somebody's political leanings because they will goddamn tell you. But not everybody broadcasts their beliefs via shouted slogans and bumper stickers.

Getty
Some of us prefer to start loud political arguments in the middle of crowded restaurants.

Fortunately, it turns out that there are subtle clues that indicate if a person is liberal or conservative -- you just have to know what to look for.

How? Tell Me!

And by "look" we literally mean "look," because eye contact is actually a great indicator of political beliefs.

Getty
The enlarged cornea means this person is extremely concerned with the deficit.

Researchers have found that during conversations, left-leaning people were more likely to follow the other person's "eye cues" than conservatives. Let's say you are having a conversation with someone and you suddenly take your gaze off them to look at something slightly to the right, say a cute person or a passing zebra. Liberals are more likely to follow your gaze and look as well, even if what you are looking at has no bearing on the conversation. If you look away again, they will follow your gaze again, and so on and so on, like two little puppies distracted by shiny passing balloons.

Getty
Statistically speaking, about half of you just glanced up at the ceiling.

Conservatives are almost never going to follow your gaze, but will continue looking straight at you, like robots. Those conducting the study speculated that conservatives held their gaze because, no lie, they don't like being told what to do.